Consider the red carpet rolled out

d-dog · August 22nd, 2002, 06:14 PM

Ok, all you assorted perverts, tweakers, freakers, droolers, hoppers, and mal-adjusted jumpers. Our boy Slim is gettin' ready to tie the proverbial knot and he needs us to remind him just how much fun he's leaving behind.

That's right, a "bucks party!" For those of you who don't speak Australian-ese, that translates roughly to a bachelor party in American-speak.

You know the drill: strippers (of all genders), debauchery, chemical inebriation, farm animals (of all genders), things done that would make John Ashcroft crap his pants and hide under a desk coddling a tattered old Bible and repeating under his breath "no.. . no. . . no. . . NO. . . FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!"

The date: Wednesday, September 4th

The location: Portland, Oregon

The organizer: One horny, deranged, off-leash old Dog

In loving honor of: Drag Queen BASE #1

The invitees: All members of our wild and wacky brotherhood of BASE boombastas, baby

The deal: Drop me a line if you want to be invited along for the ride

And, my oh my, what a ride it's going to be. Word is that, in Australia, they do these "bucks parties" pretty well and are pretty convinced that few stones are left unturned in the debauchery department. Um, yeah, whatever. We'll see how old Slim (Mr. Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-ouch) holds up to Portland-style hazing and ritualized boundary-transgression.

And I quote, from Slim himself: "Now I will be quite clear that nothing is out of bounds. Do your worst as I will only ever do this once. . . "

I dare say he'll only do it once - seriously doubt he could handle two nights like this, sorry mate truth hurts.

Come one, come all. Step right up, see what's behind the curtain. Don't miss out, that is if you are up for the ride. Leave the rigs at home for this night, the only jumping going on here won't involve shrivel flaps.

Peace,

D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com

Thomas · August 28th, 2002, 02:19 AM

OK D-Dog,
this sconny is coming out at ya, to have some fun with the crew. and I have been doing serious training. "all things in moderation, even moderation...."
-- so, I've been practicing DRINKING beer ALL DAY LONG, and into the night. this requires having a beer before I start cooking my breakfast around 10a.m. and BEERS all day, and then take the trip down to the bars, where I drink until 1:30 am, at which time I ride my bike home.
-- chemical inebriation.....hmm.....only thing to publicly state, is that I haven't found what I really like, EVEN after searching Portland, and Eugene. still looking though, and nothing is off limits.
--Strippers???? You want me to bring one, or leave with one? I'm not sure the girlfriend would like this, unless of course she were the stripper.
--Animals of all genders??? Well, I went to college in MT for 2 years, so I'll bring the velcro gloves if you got a sheep. That might be a baa-aaa-aad idea though, as the above mentioned STRIPPER might get jealous. she may join though....never can tell about these things.
-- Jumping around??? well, that's what I been doing at bars, even if I am the only one on the Dance floor. They just don't let me get naked to do it, or play good music. so I listen to my walkman, where I have good tunes. and in the deserts of Arizona, I could get naked and dance, all alone at night. 92.7--Arizona Energy, arizona's dance music station. It rules. down near Phoenix you can catch it. hard to catch at Saguaro Lake though, but there are some real good visuals at Saguaro lake, and the lake water is 80 degrees, and the cliffs are 5-80 feet into water, and then another big one off the lake near a little stream.
blah blah blah, there I go again, being long winded.
Peace out,
and get ready to party!!!!!
Thomas Mauch:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

guest · August 28th, 2002, 08:14 AM

Why is Slim buying the Cow when He's getting the Milk for Free?

Thomas · August 29th, 2002, 01:24 AM

OK, you want to hear sick, or perverted? How about two birds with one stone....heh heh heh
I'm going to the BAR tonight (this afternoon) dressed in full drag queen gear. I have noone who would help me with this in WI, and not many people who want to see it. BUT, I am practicing for Slim's "bucks party", getting crazy, freaky, and yadda yadda yadda.
So, I will be going for my DRAG QUEEN BASE number after I get my NAKED BASE number. then, I will start a new one. rumor has it that "trippin BASE" has been done, so maybe I'll be #2 on that one. oooppsss....talking out loud again.
sick??? perverted??? u want it, u got it.
how about flaming BASE? as in, light my shoes on fire just before jumping. Wear thicvk socks and shoes, and long jeans, and start to burn the feet before jumping. that will neccesitate LOW pulls, to put the fire out QUICK. 5 second canopy rides??? that is 3 more seconds of un-needed feet BURNING.
how about SMOKING BASE?? well, that means light a smoke before jumping, and keep SMOKING all the way through the landing. hey wait. Tokemon, I thought you were done smoking cigarrettes????
I will be september 2nd, but I didn't say CIGARETTE SMOKING BASE. I just said SMOKING BASE. use your imagination..........huh huh huh
perverted and sick???? how about "DILDO IN THE ARSE BASE"???? cause my beautiful female friend says "You can get small ones." of course, that is why I drink FREE at her bar. cause we are both fun loving people.
I do have the velcro gloves D-Dog. I'm not saying I want to, but hey, when in ROME.......
PEACE OUT,
Thomas :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Thomas · August 29th, 2002, 05:11 AM

OK, so I am going dress shopping today, to pick out some pretty, colorful dress. My questions are these:
Do I need to wear the high heels for DRAG BASE?
and.... DO I have to shave my legs also??
just wondering.... maybe any of the PDX crew can (spike me) an answer.
Peace out,
Thomas

"uno, dos, tres...CLEVADO!"---Thomas' new exit line