Moab Competitors,

After reading the recent posts concerning quantifiable skillsets, coupled with the recent cancellation of the IPBC Tombstone Challenge™ due to lack of interest, the Atlanta Crew is announcing a new competition format that we feel BASE jumpers, as a whole, will find more interesting and far more rewarding than the former competition.

Our format is fairly straight-forward: competitors will be judged in six categories:

1.) The Malt Liquor max potential energy category:

The object of this event is to raise the potential energy of the most malt liquor in the least amount of time possible. Competitors will be judged on ingenuity of malt liquor transportation methods, amount delivered to the top of the cliff, overall quality of the malt liquor being lifted, and the amount of time taken to deliver it. Judges will sample each brand of malt liquor in several judging rounds prior to scoring. Minus points for 3.2% crap.

2.) The most obnoxious Jumpmaster category:

The object here is to jumpmaster your buddy in the most obnoxious manner possible. You must scream at him, tell him his pilot chute is buried in spandex, his knees are shaking, etc. You get the point. Be a dick. Be obnoxious. Tell him like it really is. Tell him what a ##### he is. Make sure that just after your buddy jumps you tell him to wait.

3.) The sickest flail category:

We’ve all done it. We STILL DO IT. Flailing is fun… come on, let’s face it. Wouldn’t you rather just flail? If so, then this category is designed with you in mind. The biggest, sickest-looking flail wins this category. Head-down, shoulder low, legs kicking. You know the drill.

4.) Canopy Interactions/Destruction

Brushes with cliffs, trees, boulders, cacti – these are all a plus in this judging category. Five points per contact. Bonus points are granted at the rate of one point for each one-square inch sized hole you rip in your canopy. 25 points for split seams on deep slider-off/down deployments.

5.) Landings

If you stand it up you lose – plain and simple. We want sliders, trips, falls and pound-ins. The person who ends up nearest to the cooler on each round gets to carry the beer for the other competitors next climb. The more cactus spines the better. In fact, the judges will award you with one point per spine.

6.) Packjobs

The object to the category is speed. You pack fast and nasty, you get points. First person finished gets 5 points; last one packing will be docked 5 points.


Alright, who’s in? Seriously, a bundle of us are still coming from the southeast region… at least 5 of us. Anybody else going to be in moab mar 1st through 12th? Let’s hook up!

Gardner
we'll be on channel 420 and 1313