Upon further reflection, I have decided that my stance on Bridge Day 2002 is flat-out wrong. Readers may recall that I felt the demands made by the BDC for extraneous personal information on jumpers (Social Security numbers, in particular) were egregious and unnecessary. I felt that now was the time for the BASE community to take control of its own destiny at BD in West Virginia, and if that meant staying away from the 2002 event to demonstrate our willingness to make sacrifices in the name of maintaining our freedoms and protections as American citizens and as central attractions for BD, so be it.
Now I have seen the error of my ways.
Rather than wasting my time with self-important blather about individual freedoms, privacy protection and, heaven forbid, digressions into thoughts on American governmental institutions and how they have evolved from the early days of our country, I will do the right thing.
I will stay at home and watch my TeeVee. I will be a good corporate consumer. I will vote for political candidates that have the prettiest TeeVee commercials, and the ones that run most frequently. I will believe EVERYTHING I am told, especially when told things by entities that have a vested interest in shading the truth to serve their own ends.
Perhaps most importantly, I will recognize the primacy of appearance. After all, if I gripe about an over-reaching BDC proposal to gather information on BASE jumpers, people might think I am an unstable, conspiratorial, paranoid freeq that sits home watching for UN-owned black helicopters easdropping on my thoughts. And what people think about me is the ONLY important thing - the TeeVee taught me that.
Appearance is everything. Normalcy is the only goal. Appearing Normal is the Prime Objective. I will appear Normal by never asking questions, by never thinking for myself, and by being a docile herd animal that is easily and cheaply steered by others.
Finally, and most importantly, I will lash out at anyone with the temerity to stand out from the crowd. Anyone that questions my own passivity is, by definition, abnormal and should be ostracized. They are a danger to Society and cannot be trusted. The best way to handle them is to make fun of them - the TeeVee taught me this too.
So, I apolgize and hereby grovel for having the nerve to step out of line. It will never happen again. I am a Good Corporate Citizen. I will work hard to earn money so I can buy crap I don't need. I trust my government, no matter how tyrranical it might become or how illogical its actions. I will categorize any dissent from the TeeVee Normal picture as unstable anti-government ravings. I will submit to any indignity to prove how Normal I am.
I will go to Bridge Day and allow myself to be used as cheap entertainment for the beer-swilling masses, and I won't rock the boat when there because that would not be Normal.
Excuse me now, but I have to go watch my government-mandated 4.5 hours of daily TeeVee to be sure my thoughts continue to be Normal. I will no longer be posting on the BASE Board as the internet is subversive and not Normal; TeeVee is all I need to guide me on the path to eternal bliss via loss of self.
Many thanks to those who took the time to point out my wrong-headedness. Without you, I'd still be a questioning patriot and what's worse than that! Heck, I think I'll quit BASE right now until Nike and Disney decide it is 'cool' and then maybe I'll do it again. In the meantime, it's too non-Normal for my tastes, thank you.
Peace through Ignorance and Denial,
D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com
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