This weekend, a couple of dozen base jumpers converged for some fun at that big 486' span in the west. You know which span I mean: the one that shows up in newspapers and television shows and commercial base videos, the one perfect for daytime first jump courses, the one serviced by a friendly riverboat to ferry us to the park or (occasionally) to rescue us from accidental or tragic water landings. I mean the bridge which features prominently in nearly every base jumper's career including two who married there last month with reporters and TV crews in attendance. The span in a city that gives BASE discounts on hotel rooms and free beer in the bars. It's just like the one in the east, except this one is has a better landing area and is legal the OTHER 364 days of the year...

... for now.

Yesterday as I was walking around the visitor's center, answering tourists' questions about those wacky jumpers, I heard sudden loud, continuous car horn honking from the bridge. I looked up and saw a jumper standing on the guard rail, in broad daylight, visible from one end of the bridge to the other. The cars were going nuts with their horns until the jumper hopped off theatrically.

Now, if you've been to this bridge you probably know there's a gentleman's agreement with the police: Don't distract the traffic and they won't bother us. Don, the man who runs the tour boat rides, lobbies the city, county, and state police, the chamber of commerce, and the Idaho traffic department to maintain the openness of this one fantastic object for us. Against the authoritarian demands of the safety nazis, he has managed to keep this object open for years. The authorities have only one request: Don't stand on the rail because it distracts the drivers. Just do this one thing for everyone else's safety and have fun.

So today, imagine my surprise when two hotshots preparing to jump pointed at Don's boat waiting below and said, "I hate that boat being there." I turned and asked them why? I'm thinking Don's boat is nice if you want a ride instead of a sweaty hike. I'm thinking Don is there ready to pull critically injured jumpers out if they go in (which he has done several times over the years). I'm thinking Don's boat makes water landings possible which is the only thing that keeps some injured jumpers in the sport. I'm thinking until my ankle stabilizes I might make some water jumps myself.

The punk said, "I don't want to get yelled at for standing on the rail."

I figured this was a simple misunderstanding, so I corrected him. "It's not him. It's the cops. They ask us to stay off the rail for traffic safety. Don's just trying to keep the bridge open for the sport."

"He doesn't give a #### about the sport. He's just protecting his BUSINESS!" said the snot nosed ####.

(Now, you might wonder if this piece of crap jumper had a single brain cell firing. He should know protecting Don's business IS protecting the sport. But no, this self-centered simpleton thinks burning the whole object is better for the SPORT than Don's business.)

Just before completely giving up, I tried once more: "And do you give a #### about the sport?"

"Oh man, it doesn't matter. I didn't see any cops."

No, you didn't see them, you arrogant turd, but everyone for 1/2 a mile sure saw you and heard the traffic commotion, and you can be SURE word gets around quickly in this little town that's been so welcoming so far.

This guy is almost intentionally trying to burn this object. Even El Capitan was legal once, back before thoughtless ####heads like him trashed it and turned the Park Service into a police force aimed directly against BASE.

--

By the way, Don asked me to spread the word. Next weekend (Labor Day) he's running raffles for free gear, meals, and hotel rooms. He's getting the business community involved for a huge celebration of BASE. He's putting on a massive barbecue for all the jumpers. Everyone's invited to come pump out jumps, impress the cheering crowds of tourists, charm the old ladies running the Visitor's Center, and have a great time.

If nobody ruins it first.