Problems galore

guest · June 20th, 2001, 01:19 PM

How many of you out there have faced a chit load of hassle from your girlfriends, wives, boyfriends (doubt it, but we have to be all inclusive don't we).

I myself am at breaking point a few weeks before a wedding and BASE has readched the untouchable territory of bare back sister riding.

While I understand commitment and sacrifice I would love to find a better way to approach this topic.

I am sure a lot of you guys have been through this stupid phukin mill of intolerance and therefore you are the guys whose opinions I want to hear.

Space : I read "The Alchemist" and "Veronica decides to die" and so did she but to no effect.

The rest of you who know me then you know I am fighting a losing battle.

This is a drunken mans cry for help.

Aaaarghhhh.

PS. No phukin BASE rig for sale so piss off :-)

Yuri · June 20th, 2001, 06:01 PM

Yo !

You can try a complicated approach or a simple one... I believe Occam's razor will cut down the bullsh!t, so here we go:

BASE jumping (skydiving, golf, whatever) is what you do and it makes you who you are. "They" can either accept and take you as is... or piss off! There are others who will love and respect you entirely, without cutting out a part THEY don't like. Good luck whatever you do - and how much for the rig ? ;-)

"Women get married hoping that men will change... and men get married hoping that women won't!" ;-)

bsbd!

Yuri.

**base570** · June 20th, 2001, 07:53 PM

Yuri is right. You need a woman who loves you unconditionally, otherwise the marriage is bound to fail. She needs to know that you are not putting BASE or anything else 1st in your life, it is merely a hobby/lifestyle that you choose to participate in. Let her know that she IS or WILL BE 1st in your life and you will be there for her when she needs you. She has to love you for who you are, not who she hopes you should be. If this is something she simply cannot tolerate, then maybe she isn't the right girl for you. Marriage IS love without conditions. Period.
Hope things work out for the best, Jason

guest · June 21st, 2001, 03:07 AM

Give her the option B.A.S.E. or bare back sister riding.
Good luck

guest · June 21st, 2001, 03:51 AM

My wife got pissed off when she found out that I'd made about 30 base jumps without telling her. She knows I'd made some back in the 80's and still wanted to make more but with kids I decided not to worry her. My mistake. She was cool with the jumping and pissed that I didn't trust her to understand. Now It's more fun that we can talk about the trips on my return.

Any spouse has to understand that a guy has to have it. Whether it's motocross, scuba, singletrack, skydiving or Nascar. Would she rather you sat in the Barkalounger with a built-in cooler and yelled for more salsa?

guest · June 21st, 2001, 04:56 AM

Your wife sounds very reasonable - want to swap?

guest · June 21st, 2001, 07:05 AM

wish i had her attitude. my problem is that after hanging out with BASE jumpers, normal men just do it anymore ;). there is this constant craving for excitement, even if it's not me going to jump off something. watching still makes a hell of a show! ;)so she just doesn't know what she is missing yet and you are the one to show her ;)if she is silly enough not to appreciate what YOU do, because of her own fears/issues (that she needs to deal with herself) then there are plenty of people out there who will.

good luck in whatever you choose!

guest · June 21st, 2001, 07:29 AM

SWM BASE jumper seeks adventurous female ground crew. Jumper has job, car, house and a good sense of humor, but tends to spend a lot of time packing.
Signed: sore hands(hahaha)

guest · June 21st, 2001, 03:03 PM

SWF seeks adventuous male base jumper. Jumper needs to have job, car, house and a good sense of humor. signed: hand massager

guest · June 21st, 2001, 03:50 PM

Regan, If you are also a BASE jumper I highly recommend not dating another BASE jumper. Men can't take the competition. They can't take that a woman is doing something as "manly" as they are. And it will kill the relationship. Besides, within weeks of your first date, he will be calling you "dude" and doing a "3,2,1" countdown during sex. Most male BASE jumpers are usually compensating for some other shortcoming, if you know what I mean. Real men don't have to prove their "manliness".

~Former BASE jumping BASE jumper's girlfriend

guest · June 21st, 2001, 04:08 PM

Alright, looks like we are a match. Can we take turns on top......of the object. We can figure out who gets to get off first, or we could do a 2 way and deploy at the same time.
Looking forward to that massage.

guest · June 22nd, 2001, 02:00 PM

sure! as long as you enjoy the high, know when to deploy, Im sure your hands will be 'sore no more!" :)

guest · June 22nd, 2001, 04:35 AM

Would you care for the perspective of a girlfriend of a BASE jumper? So far everyone has been right in saying that if she loves you she must take you as is. I couldn't agree more. You must also take her "as is" which means you need to accept her feelings about BASE. THEN the two of you need to figure out how to respect and live with the differences because in most cases they don't just disappear.

That said, there are ways you can make your BASE jumping more palatable to her. Maybe her behavior has to do with fear - fear of you getting hurt, arrested or killed. You won't be able to coax her out of these fears but you can listen, be aware and share some of your own. To us non BASE people you BASE people can seem totally fearless - make sure she knows you're human and have your own doubts and fears - it may make her more comfortable in voicing her own. I know this sounds like hokey psychobabble but it can't hurt to try.

I am more prone to believe that women (like men) need a forum upon which they can bitch, grumble and commiserate. The BASE Board provides men and women who jump with just that - not to mention all of the invaluable insight and info. Those of us who are the significant others of BASE jumpers have the same need. Most of our girlfriends or co-workers do not understand our day to day difficulties with our beloved BASE jumpers. Some examples: walking in the door after an exhausting day at work only to find that all of your living room and dining room furniture does in fact fit into the kitchen - you may even get a close look at how this was made possible if you have the strength to negotiate the rig which is being packed in what was once your living space. Bearing the mystery that a man who can not wrap a gift or fold his own clothes can make 500 feet (or however much it actually is) of nylon fit into something the size of a throw pillow. And the frustration of melting yet another one of those g-d d*mn rubber bands in the head of the vacuum.

Luckily there is an answer - get her involved with the people you jump with and their girlfriends/wives. Sometimes there's nothing better then a day of ground-crewing (or not) with other women who are in the same boat. Trust me when I tell you it makes a world of difference. It changes the BASE experience from your own thing to a couple thing. Hopefully she'll be able to bond with other jumpers and non-jumpers and look forward to those interactions. She will focus more on spending time with people in a similar situation rather than your jumping. Your posting is case in point - you asked for responses from guys who have experienced the same intolerance, misery loves company. The plus side is that most of us aren't miserable (we're actually quite fun) and we'll rub off on her.

In the two years that I have been around BASE jumpers I have met some of the finest men and women out there. Because the majority of men who jump are not Barkalounger Commandos but fit, dynamic, playful men they tend to attract fit, dynamic, playful women - resulting in the coolest mix of people around. Use this to your advantage. Take her to the comps, the parties, the road trips - and ALWAYS set aside some time during these activities that are just for and about the two of you.

Back to the fear thing. I have personally received the late night "there's been an accident" phone call - it sucks beyond words. I've spent a day dumbfounded on my couch as the local news replayed images of my boyfriend's rig hanging out of a hotel window, and all I could do was think what if… It scares the sh!t out of me every time the phone rings when he's out jumping. Other BASE jumpers and other girlfriends/wives help make it tolerable. I am SO thankful for the friendships that got me through the truly hard/scary times and that continue to support and humor me.

Sorry - I do go on, but wedding bells are ringing and it would be a shame to have BASE silence them. Best of luck!
-Carrie

PS - A HUGE thanks to all of the men and women who have welcomed me into the BASE scene, laughed, cried, danced, drank, played and partied with me - Its been a blast and I look forward to every chance I get to see you! (Ruth my dear - we really need to start up the "Women who Love BASE jumpers" support group!)