Well, I guess I don't rightly know how to write this letter but I am putting it on the forum at this time because this is my first time ever having to deal with something like this.
In my short career as a BASE jumper I have created a lot of controversy and turmoil within the community. I am not proud of this which is why I am writing this letter to all of you. It's been a real hard road but I have came to an intersection in my life where I have realized I have to make one change in particular that seems to be affecting everything.
Looking back at the over 60 BASE jumps I have made since starting in November I came to realize that only maybe 10 have been sober and on most I know I was wasted. BASE is dangerous enough without the added stupidity. But the realization came when I look at the shit I have done, in both the BASE and the skydiving communities as well as in my daily life. From being escorted off a plane at a DZ for smelling like alcohol, actually manifesting and doing a jump and later finding I was so intoxicated I couldn't walk after landing to BASE jumps where I had drank a half a bottle of Jack and 6 beers and I guess it's no wonder that someone overheard what we were talking about (I will tell you that I didn't want that to happen) and I don’t even remember getting to the roof because I guess I was blacked out.
Nevertheless, the reason I am writing is to let you know that I am entering an impatient treatment program Monday. This is my first time ever really looking into anything like this but I think it's time. Looking back at the last few years I realize I have destroyed so many things from my career to friendships and reputation that I cannot afford to continue to live like this...if for nothing else than I am going to kill someone else.
I don’t know anything about AA or alcoholism but from what I have heard, it fits. In the past 5 years I have lost a job where I was virtually printing money, there are people who won’t get on a plane with me, there are people who won’t BASE with me and there are nights I shake and sweat if I don’t drink.
I guess I just felt that I owed an apology to this community as a whole and as I have always believed that apologies without action are bullshit I am taking this step. I realise I have burned alot of Spans, however I hope this is a step in the direction that it will take to rebuild these. I didn't really realise the extent of my drinking problem until lately and as I talk with more and more people regarding this alot of people have said they saw a problem but were too intimidated by me or just felt I wouldn't listen anyhow.
I hope some of you can accept my apology. As many of you know, I am not on here much so if someone has something to say to me you can contact me by text or email.
Superdave
612-382-7789
ferrari_technicain@yahoo.com
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