PDX # 36 - Ghetto Fabulous!

[d-dog]

It took a marauding Canadian to motivate the Portland crew to add yet another beautiful object to our inventory. I've been driving under this crane for weeks, thinking to myself "gee, it sure looks like it's tall enough to jump." When brought up to other folks, all I received was derision and laughter.

Turns out that the Canadian, laser rangefinder in hand, marked it at somewhere between 180 and 220 feet. During a windy weekend, he convinced us that "the wind has dropped and conditions are perfect." Of course, I'm not packed so I rush together a "Portland special" packjob and off we go.

Perhaps not surprisingly, ten minutes later the winds are quite substantial. No reason to modify a perfectly good jump plan, is it? Well, problem is that the landing area is now a crosswind setup. The new plan? Work it out under canopy.

Through the fence, gear on, up the ladder. Our ground crew thoughtfully points out our progress on the climb to the neighborhood whuffos, resulting in a nice audience for our jump. It's all about the audience!

We arrive below the control booth only to find the trapdoor locked. There's a V2-ish route around the outside of the structure, but for some reason Spence and Tom aren't so eager to play that game in the rainy, windy, slippery conditions of the metal superstructure. Sissies.

Thus, we tie off right there and set up for jumping. How high to impact? Uh, probably 160 or so. . . maybe. Tom's off, turns into the wind and nails a nice landing in a tight section of clear roadway. I'm off next, follow Tom's lead but can't quite squeeze in next to the stoplights and street lamps. Left end cell catches the stoplight - pop - though it comes off pretty easy. Man, those 285s sure are wide bastards, aren't they? Nothing a little duct tape won't fix. Spence chooses the crosswind landing area - wise man.

A little traffic has to route around us as we pack up, but soon we're off and running back to the Vulva. Wet, amped, and satisfied for the night, it's time to have some good, clean fun back at the Wolf Den.

There's another nice crane nearby. Shorter, sketchier, and with a dodgier landing area. Sounds perfect! Now, if only the 30+ mph winds would slow a bit, we'd get that one too.

This is our first new object in the inventory since Big Nik left us behind. This one's for you, my friend.

Peace,

D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com

[crabby]

It wasn't even a week ago your abrasive post about heroism and the art of BASE bragging, and now just look at you go, you big poofter.
Anyway, just for the record, the SFO crew has documented over 85 objects jumped in our local, very gay, BASE Mecca.
So you hot trottin' Moss Tossers better get steppin'.

[base428]

Right on crabby.

I think D-doggie is my new hero. A crane? Geez, we don't even have cranes here on the East Coast. And 160'...maybe? Wow, now that's far lower than I've ever jumped. Maybe it's the lowest jump EVER!! Despite the wind, rain, and low exit altitude, dogboy was able to land safely and jump another day. I just love reading all about the exploits of the dogboy and his awesome feats of bravery and skill. Maybe someday I'll be half as cool as him.

Too bad his crappy canopy skills made him eat that stoplight. I jump 285's also, but ironically, my canopy just ain't that wide.

Disclaimer: This post is all for fun. Nothing else. Can't we all just laugh every now and then! Ha..ha...ha...


------------
Jason Bell (BASE428)
Email: jbell@vertical-visions.com
Web: www.vertical-visions.com or www.bridgeday.info

[kleggo]

(snip)

nice story.........................................

but what the hell is up with.................


>Turns out that the Canadian, laser rangefinder
>in hand, marked it at somewhere between 180 and
>220 feet.

i thought that the de rigeur too-hip accessory, the laser range finder, was an accurate device. a 40 foot tolerance over a range of 200 feet does not sound very impressive.

what would the N.I.S.T. think??????????????


kleggo

[d-dog]

Aw, c'mon Jason - if we were really cool heroes like your crew, we'd take a helicopter to the top and have guides set up fixed lines;-)

I don't know about you, but I'm still laughing. . . ha ha ha.

Peace,

D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com

you know what, Jason? Bitter really works for you &-)

[base428]

I've been BASE jumping long enough to not give a hoot about what goes on at the baseboard. Nor do I really give a rat's ass about guys who post the details of every jump they survive. I've seen that type come and go........

The baseboard is just plain fun. If you can't laugh about it and poke some fun at others, then it get's too serious. Besides, I'm just helping out Tree because he says there's just not enough bickering on the 'board nowadays. (Howdy Tree!)

And so you won't further propogate inaccuracies when your Eiger jealousy gets the best of you, please note that it is a 4-hour minimum hike from Klein Schleidegg to the Eiger mushroom if the weather is good. I was told it is a minimum of two pitches, and you'll need crampons. In most cases, you'll also have to jump down with the crampons attached to your feet (try to avoid RW during freefall with those crampons).

THEN, we you finally get to the Eiger mushroom, it's a 1m vertical and 3m horizontal death leap over to the mushroom rock. The last person that I know who made the leap broke her leg. Of course, once the first "sucker" jumps across the gap and ties some ropes in, then the rest can traverse across.

NOW, we're still assuming that the weather is good. The Eiger is about 13,026' above sea level. You'll be jumping from about 10,560' MSL. We jumped it in July on a day that the guides said was a 10 out of 10. It was still about 20mph winds at the top and 35 degrees F and we got lucky that it was that nice. The next four days after we jumped the Eiger, the weather was lousy and the Eiger was fogged in all day. The Eiger can be consumed by clouds all day long for weeks. It has its own climate, as we saw on our jumps. As the sun heats the rock, the Eiger becomes engulfed in its own clouds.

So, next time you're on vacation in the Alps, make sure you give it about 10 days for a weather window and try not to get killed on the hike up. We took the 'copter not because it was easier, but because it was safer. I'm sure YOU would never ride a helicopter to any exit point, but just in case you do ever take one to the Eiger, just be aware that those "guides" you often talk about are REQUIRED by the helicopter outfit or they won't take you up.

Glad I could get you the facts and clear up those inaccuracies.

3...2...1...CYA!

PS. Thanks for giving me another opportunity to talk about how bitchin' of a jump the Eiger was. Wish you were there.....


------------
Jason Bell (BASE428)
Email: jbell@vertical-visions.com
Web: www.vertical-visions.com or www.bridgeday.info

[d-dog]

Jason, Jason, Jason. . . what ARE we going to do with your oversized ego?

As a first suggestion, I'd recommend you not spray about topics outside your area of expertise. I have three good friends who have jumped the mushroom exit, and amazingly none of them took a chopper up. None of them used crampons in the summer season conditions - that's only necessary if one is either hiking up early in the day (before the sun warms the snowpack) or in colder/winter conditions. Who would jump down with crampons on? It's much easier to simply take them off, pack then together, put them in your pocket, and go. I know, 'cause I've done it before. Have you?

It is true that a standard mountaineering ice axe will come in handy for the snow travel, particularly for those with less experience traversing snow slopes - like you of course ;-)

None of my friends took more than three hours to do this approach. Perhaps the folks you know are too used to taking choppers places, and have forgotten how to use their legs? Out here in my world, we hike to lots of exits so, while we're no Norwegians, we do know how to engage or fat American butts.

Two "pitches?" If one were to do "pitches" on this approach, one would also need to have along snow protection for belays - and one would also have to know how to use it. Pickets, deadmen, etc. These are probably alien concepts to you, but don't worry. . . they are unnecessary. I've never heard of anyone setting up fixed belays on this approach. Many folks climb the Eiger via this "standard route," and I've actually never heard of a party setting fixed belays - they may rope up, but that has nothing to do with "pitches." Call me someday if you want to learn more about snow climbing and I can explain all these complex words to you, ok? I've been playing on steep snow for far longer than you've been playing with parachutes.

I know of ONLY one person who has broken an ankle on the jump to the rock. I know of almost a dozen who have not. Besides, like many climbers, I used to do "boulder jumping" for fun, and we crossed much bigger spans than that where death was certain if we missed. Doesn't sound so horrible to me.

The funny thing is, Jason, that when I was in Switzerland in late summer I had hoped to hit the Eiger with Lukas, Per, and the other Swedes. We thought about using a chopper (and guides), but it seemed to me to be, I dunno, lame. The other guys agreed. Interesting, isn't it? I guess all the other folks who did that exit this summer, without chopper support, agreed with us.

So, instead, Tom and I went and opened a couple of new exit points in the Engleberg valley. One easy one, one with a 13,000 foot MSL jumping a 4500+ foot alpine face. Glacier approach, etc. And, you know what? We didn't even use a chopper! Of course, neither Tom nor I felt the need to author a hero article and submit it to Skydiving - we posted some data here (for other jumpers to check out the exits), and that was it. Heck, we didn't even take video of our jumps or get any photos. That's cool, 'cause we were jumping just for the fun of it.

If you'd like to repeat either of these exits next year, I'll be happy to share accurate beta with you. I think you'd find Blank Check to be particularly educational and mind-expanding, for sure.

It really is too bad that the only way you know how to do alpine jumping is with a chopper and guides. Someday, if you want to learn about alpine climbing, you should come out and visit us here in the PNW. We can teach you the basics of ropework, snow travel, alpine rock, etc. - then, next time YOU are in the Swiss alps, you can experience them in a different way. You might even like it better than being ferried by a chopper.

I'd say your beta on the Eiger exit is pretty sketchy, so don't pass it on. You know less about the exit (and approach) than I do, which is funny since you were there and I decided to wait and do it in better style. How ironic, eh?

If folks want chopper approach beta, they can get in touch with you. If folks want traditional approach beta, they can contact any one of the many folks who have jumped that exit the old-fashioned way. Hooray for choice!

I love it when people get defensive - shows that the critique has hit a bit too close to home. Tree should be enjoying your slow roasting. . .

Peace,

D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com

[base428]

You are now my new climbing hero. Would you please share some of your climbing knowledge with me? What is a Karibeenher anyway?

OK, OK....the truth must come out. I only take helicopters because I'm loaded and I'm a jump slut. I guess my engineering degree, along with all the loads of money I make each year, are denying me the enjoyment of hiking to some exit points.

Now this is getting fun.....you big fat wanker.
You haven't even jumped the Eiger! EVERYONE has jumped the Eiger but YOU!!!!

------------
Jason Bell (BASE428)
Email: jbell@vertical-visions.com
Web: www.vertical-visions.com or www.bridgeday.info

[d-dog]

>Now this is getting fun.....you big fat wanker.
>You haven't even jumped the Eiger! EVERYONE has
>jumped the Eiger but YOU!!!!

I know - doesn't it suck? All the cool kids have done it, and I haven't. Does that mean that I can't hang out with you cool kids at recess?

Someday, when I grow up, I want to be JASON BELL!

Peace,

D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com

[base428]

Get in line, pal....

>Someday, when I grow up, I want to be JASON BELL!


------------
Jason Bell (BASE428)
Email: jbell@vertical-visions.com
Web: www.vertical-visions.com or www.bridgeday.info

[Tree]

D-Doug,

This is interesting, but it does seem that only one of you is having fun and that the other is quite defensive. I'm pretty sure that everyone can make that judgement for themselves so I'll leave it at that.

And could you try to keep those posts under 2 pages. Short, sharp jabs work the best on the bitch board. Those long ones remind too much of someone we both hold in very low regard.

Keep up the good work,

Tree :-)

[JJ]

Aloha!

My Russian commrades were doing the Klein Schleidegg to Mushroom Rock hike in less than 1.5 hours. They did it 5 times in a month two Septembers ago, getting 60+ seconds with the BM classic russian copy.

Learn to love the hike!

JJ
:-)

[neiljarvis]

Aloha?

You are not in Hawaii are you? Lazy b*gger!!

No doubt sleeping under a pineapple tree in the sun.

I look forward to the day when you have to shave in the morning, battle with rush-hour traffic and be subservient to a boss.

Have a phat one in KL (I'm envious!!). The local A had ice on the wire last weekend (minus 6).

cya in the US sometime :-) :x

[base428]

I agree completely that earning your altitude is best. When I go back this summer, I'll be hiking it. The weather is so freaky there that, during our short vacation, we elected to ride to the top to better our chances at jumping.

One thing to consider is that you're at 10,560' MSL, so be prepared for the hike up and possible hike back down.

------------
Jason Bell (BASE428)
Email: jbell@vertical-visions.com
Web: www.vertical-visions.com or www.bridgeday.info

[Yuri]

Yo !

This may come as a shock, so if you aren't prepared - don't read!

According to a not-to-be-named-here jumper, Tree has paid D-Dog and base428 $50 each to start a fake flame on The Board! Further on, he promised to pay another $50 for every 10th message under the same thread. Can you believe this mockery of our honorable tradition? This cheap imitation of true anger, hate and rage ? The goddamn Gerry Springer show, fueled behing the scenes by a sick puppet master waiting for his own round of flames. Worse yet, the rumour has it that lots of this dirty cash came from the newly created GB community. The same source confirms that while pillow-fighting on the Board the parties involved were seen getting naked in a green meadow, jumping up and down in senseless joy, Tree-hugging and all drinking from the same pitcher of skim milk.

This disgusting scheme must end! Our fellow jumpers, brothers and sisters... stand up and fight like real man! Catfight like real women if you have to - but don't let this Board to become another Greenpeace forum.

bsbd!

Yuri.

[FLsurfer]

FLsurfer
Now this is some funny sheeyit Yuri! Since I've joined the BASE community a couple of years back I enjoy the wicked and sharp humor that we all seem to possess. It seems most of my surf buddies lost the sharp part many BT's ago.
;-)

[Tree]

Damn you Yuri!

How could you do this to me. Don't ruin my only source of entertainment. With one canopy waiting (and waiting) for repair and the other being held unavailable shall we say, this is all I have. You bastard. No sushi for you.

Tree :'(

[d-dog]

No worries, Tree. Who would believe Yuri anyway? I mean, look at him: that hair, those glasses. . . !

By the way, the check you sent me bounced; send another $50 in cash or I'll stop flame baiting here for a month. Grrrrr.

Peace,

D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com

[base311]

how 'bout a clapped-out fury 220? a month? geez... that's no time at all.

gardner

[d-dog]

>And could you try to keep those posts under 2
>pages. Short, sharp jabs work the best on the
>bitch board. Those long ones remind too much of
>someone we both hold in very low regard.

While concision may well be a virtue - along with patience - I'm in too goddamned much of a hurry and have too much to say to screw with that crap.

Come to think of it, I never claimed to be virtuous anyway - how many virtuous people do you know who can hold their own in the art of having truly spectacular fun ;-)

Long Live Debauchery!

Peace,

D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com

[d-dog]

>Before anyone starts making jokes about Canadian
>lasers being as shaky as the Canadian dollar....
>
>The boom was lasered at 70 yds.

Is that Canadian yards, or real yards? If memory serves, 70 Canadian yards translates into like 25 real yards ;-)

>Rain....roadtrippin' hijinx at the
>diner....handgun fun....my American
>woman<sigh>....getting shagged by farmer
>McNasty...chillin' and sinnin'....more
>rain!....electric buzz toys....ghetto
>jumping....and finish it off holding a 45 degree
>'track' into 80 mph winds at Cannon Beach while
>dogs and small children tumble by....

I'm thinking that we might just avoid that diner for, oh, a couple of years or so. I bet they tell stories about that one for years longer than that. One thing I can say: Nik would most certainly have appreciated that little caper. He was certainly "with us" in more than spirit :P

You guys are more than welcome any time, my friend. Perhaps next time you can leave those Canadian winds at home, and we can get some REAL jumping in ok? We never did get to do CP, LT, etc. . .

Peace,

D-d0g
ddog@wrinko.com
www.wrinko.com